4·5·6

UP

2009-11-10T08:21:00.000-08:00

Purchased Disney Pixar's Up today :-)

With that said, I can't seem to find a theme for this here blog. So this will be the last post.

P.S. I'm not hard to find.

Cherish the Day

2009-10-22T11:58:00.000-07:00

They Grow Up So Fast

2009-10-22T11:39:00.000-07:00

*swear I had visions of him as an adult adjusting himself! Look at him, staring at his collar through the mirror!! My young man!

Lean In Right Quick

2009-10-22T11:37:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like your kiss!!

Peace Has its Price

2009-10-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

No matter what morals, values you have throughout this journey we call life, sooner or later you realize that you have to look out for yourself. Because those you thought were there for you aren't even there for themselves. & so what have you loved them for? HAVE you been loving them if they don't even bother to love themselves?

When it comes to your peace, your serenity YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT IT TAKES. Stand alone & there isn't anyone who can turn their back to you. Stand united & you're surrounded.

You got enough ammo?

Green Eyed Love

2009-10-14T18:23:00.000-07:00

I prefer DCBG's posts than that other guy that isn't a blogger. Anyway that (or this below) is my favorite song of the moment!

& while browsing online about Mr. Hawthorne I discovered that he will be performing 30minutes away from me tomorrow night. So I'm going.

More info.

Testament

2009-09-29T01:27:00.001-07:00

I know what it's like to not have you. Not just for a weekend, a couple weeks, almost a year I missed out on your life. I did the best that I could to see you again, to help you remember what we had. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't see you again.

Think about it.

I do not know what I would do if I could not see you again.
I truly do not.

But baby.. No. Not baby. My "big boy.."
I can't stop treating you as if I'm never going to see you again. That, in itself is a sign of weakness. As if I'm not sure enough I will always have you. I say this to myself a lot.

'You won't know strength if I am unable to show you it.'
& my (heart)beat goes on.

1963

2009-09-22T20:17:00.000-07:00

& stretch

2009-09-22T20:16:00.001-07:00

My aunt's turtle was supposed to be with us for a couple of weeks. I think it is ours now. I dislike it a lot. Today it did a neat thing though. Practiced some yoga.

Golden $tate

2009-09-10T04:28:00.000-07:00

Like everyone should, I'm proud of where I'm from. But this (lack thereof) justice system. It gets a grip of your beliefs. Your morals. One begins to question when they'll get a Gold Star for doing a good job on staying true to self.

C.R.E.A.M.

Final thought(s): I never would have thought that I would have my ONE in the courthouse with me; accompanying my struggle. The American Dream. God bless the U-S of A. *burns United States flag*

Speed Your Love to Me

2009-09-01T07:35:00.000-07:00

Another morning w/o my son, Andrew. As I stare at "my" room that looks like his [thanks to me] I find myself, yet again, on (an emotional) one. I was looking at pictures of him & I thought to myself, he's growing up. [Duh, right] I mean.

It's more like where did the time go? How old am I?

I just miss him & though he's away from me a few days each week, I want that time back! Like I want all those days. I want them all. I feel like I'm NOT supposed to be away. Granted, I'd probably ask for a break or 737 of them if he really was with me every day but. Still. His smile. His laugh. His embrace. Even when he's rough & tackles me when I'm least ready. Throughout his unecessary crying & irritating whines I Miss Him So Much. Because of my graveyard shifts, I come home around 6:15AM. He wakes up shortly after & I'm so tired. But I just got home now & boyy do I wish he was here so we can play.

Why?

Shit don't make any sense! I should be using this time to regroup & take advantage of him not being around & get some rest! Alas, I lay awake. Alone.

Oh, Love. In many ways you work to make me feel so good. & turn right around & have it hurt so badly.

Love, I can't get enough of you. I live for you, Love.

Love Always, Jennifer.

everLAsting

2009-08-28T01:14:00.001-07:00

The more than deserving love to never be extinguished.

He said, "Lubb you.."

*8.27.9

We Know

2009-08-14T20:21:00.000-07:00

If you feelin' lonely, I can be your one and only
I put it out in the world, so people show me... love

Potentially, wife material connectin' mentally
I felt like heaven sent for me, you're meant for me

This woman moves me and I'm a mountain of a man
You pull me in like the waves do the grain of sand

What we gotta do to make them see
We got a good thing going on
Wanna tell the world if they don't know
That what we have is real
Wanna shout it from the mountains baby
That I love you, but if they don't hear me
I know
You know
We know

*Talib Kweli/Faith Evans

Back In My Day

2009-08-03T13:32:00.001-07:00

I always knew I'd end up sounding like my elders eventually. I even remember talking about K-EARTH 101 & the music on there & wondering what music would be on there as I get older. Anyway.. Chuck E. Cheese is not like it used to be. Even the food tasted better years ago. Nonetheless, I still managed to take great pictures of Andrew owning that place.

Caricature 4-5

2009-07-29T17:00:00.001-07:00

Dependence, out

2009-07-05T12:46:00.000-07:00

Once he was born, the following 10 months with her son taught her patience amongst the rushed times, taught her unconditional love amongst the constant hatred thrown at her, taught her appreciation despite her longing desire for something more.

She didn't have any worries, no bills or rent to take care of. At all. Food, always around. All she had to do was write it on a piece of paper & stick it on a fridge. Her mother-in-law would go to the grocery store & she'd go downstairs to find everything in her list, there.

Money was no matter. Matter of fact, she didn't have it. She never asked for much & as for clothes? She just wore the same things that her dad purchased for her 3yrs prior to her relationship he was against.

And yet, without any money the problems existed. Seeds of miscommunication, envy & abuse were planted. & boy did they grown strong & tall.

So let's think. A world without money. For better or worse?

I think a world without money would be a lot better. If we all used our skills & intelligence to help one another & not expect to get paid, just taken care of always. How beautiful does that sound?

Alas, I continue to dream. Dream of our independence. It's a nice thought to be consumed by, if just for a minute. Then we can forget how much we depend on many factors to survive.

Long live America.

Difficulties

2009-07-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

SoulfulJenn: Man my ex got me tight
SoulfulJenn: I just called so I can talk to Andrew
βROOKLYN: WHAT HAPPENED?
SoulfulJenn: He gon say " Andrew u wanna talk to mama jenny?"
SoulfulJenn: THA FUCK IS MAMA JENNY?
SoulfulJenn: I'm not mama jenny!
SoulfulJenn: Tf is he doing man
SoulfulJenn: Smfh so of course Andrew's like no
SoulfulJenn: Cuz I heard him in thebackground sayin no
SoulfulJenn: So I told him can u please tell him it's mama because he doesn't kno me as that
SoulfulJenn: And he said sure he does then he hangs up
SoulfulJenn: I call again n said can I speak to andrew please
SoulfulJenn: He asks u wanna talk on thephone? Andrew says no I said can u tell him it's mama? He said I did I said no u never told him. He then asks Andrew if he wants to talk on the phone again
SoulfulJenn: He said no I just got off the phone
SoulfulJenn: Man.
SoulfulJenn: & I miss him a lot.
SoulfulJenn: *screams!*
----------------------------------------- 7:19 pm -----------------------------------------
SoulfulJenn: Got low batt, peace.
βROOKLYN: Wait

Most heart-touching..

2009-07-03T17:47:00.000-07:00

My mother made a video that means a lot to me & it shows pictures of my town in Mexico as well as numerous of my family relatives. Rest In Peace Ma' Lupe.

Pleased to be Reminded..

2009-06-20T21:57:00.001-07:00

Now at 3 years young, he sleeps in a pose he mastered at 3 weeks young.

Mr. Organizer

2009-06-13T12:11:00.001-07:00

Sets his movies in a particular order then relaxes.

R.I.P. Ma' Lupe

2009-05-26T22:00:00.000-07:00

Check it. My Ma' Licho (my Grandmother) w/my son Andrew, while we surround My Ma' Lupe (my Great-Grandmother) & myself. 5 generations, my mother's missing to complete the picture. THANK YOU SO MUCH GOD FOR ALLOWING HER TO MEET MY BABY BOY.

Just like I was a baby & my great-great-grandmother was able to hold me, Andrew was able to hang with his own great-great-grandmother. Lord, please take care of her.

Take care of us. Please calm me down. Please calm my tears. I need to be strong. It's just my brother Carlos & I here now & we need to take care of all these responsibilities. Please give me strength. I love you Ma' Lupe. I miss you. I remember we . Nah. I can't.

Motherly Love

2009-05-15T03:15:00.000-07:00

I know why my mom liked this.

This song touched my heart. LISTEN.

www.MySpace.com/AyeBe

Song even made me cry.

Happy Mother's Day..!

2009-05-10T18:24:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder..

2009-05-01T03:21:00.000-07:00

Why in the most unexpected times you start thinking about someone you loved so dearly?

Te sigo queriendo " :] "

Dope Love Captured

2009-04-26T22:16:00.000-07:00

Benihana's 4.17.9

*more to come!!

He's just so.. so..

2009-04-19T18:37:00.000-07:00

Daggone behaved!

& handsome!!

Oh little one..

2009-04-12T16:45:00.001-07:00

I tried to reach you today, again. & your dad woudnt let me. He even told me to never contact you again. This isn't right & I will continue to pray for you.

Happy Easter my son.

To love you is an understatement.

2009-04-06T04:16:00.001-07:00

Hey baby..

You know how Mama has her eyes closed & you kiss my eyelids & when I say, "Ow!" you laugh?

Well Mama thinks of you. Mama hopes for you. Mama gives you strength. Mama prays.

Little do you know that I pray for you often. I pray you're eating healthy & are fearless whether I'm around or not. You mean so much to me. I love when you grab me & won't let go. I love that when I'm sleepy, you're aware I DO want to spend time with you, but due to exhaustion I can barely keep up with your energy. I love that you then decide you're going to take care of me. You lay or sit next to me & pat your chest/lap & say, "Mama, c'mere. Lay down. Tired Mama."

I'm crying.

Sigh.

Half the time I don't even understand what you're saying because well, you don't speak clearly. Sometimes I just understand that last word & it helps me figure out the rest. I don't baby you. I don't goo goo ga ga & according to my mom, I'm cold. I'm never affectionate. But you know me, don't you. You know I loooovvveeee our kisses. I love the time u take to place your cute set on my cheek & forehead. One of the best kisses is when you're feeling goofy/silly..

I just know that everyone else can judge me & the time I spend away from you but you & I will always have our moments where nothing can interrupt our love & no one else matters. I hope you never forget those moments, Love. God, I pray..

Baby, I hope your dad doesn't give you a lot of candy. I know how much you love it-that, you got from your daddy because Mama doesn't have a sweet tooth. I just know that last night I knew that you would be hungry & he told me that you wanted candy the rest of the night. I became very concerned but just let God hold me & my worries.

You will be fine. No matter what.

Now, if only I had enough faith to believe that.

I'm working on it.

Happy Birthday 4·5·6!!

2009-04-05T13:48:00.000-07:00

He was happily surprised..

2009-03-27T08:43:00.000-07:00

to see fish being a part of our family now.

Priceless

2009-03-14T19:51:00.000-07:00

So Andrew has a tendency of wanting his picture taken in thee most unexpected times & this time he looked at it & said, "Mack. Mack & Mater." Then he smiled. Can I just say... remember when we couldn't look at our pictures, lol Remember our cameras where we had to wait for 1) the pictures to all be taken then 2) for mom to take em to get developed?? Wow @ me just remembering a disposable camera I took to Rite-Aid over a yr ago & never picked up.

For The Love Of You, Andrew

2009-02-23T03:21:00.000-08:00

Drifting on a memory
Ain't no place I'd rather be, no,
Than with you
Loving you

Lovely as a ray of sun that touches me when the morning comes

My love and me, ooh

Enchanted with your touch
It seems to me we can sail together in and out of misery

I wanna be living for the love of you
All that I'm giving is for the, for the love of you

Paradise I held within
Can't feel insecure again
You're the key
Oh, this I see, this I see, ooh
Now I'm there and I lose my way
Using words to try to say what I feel
I feel that love is free
I know that love is free

I just wanna be giving all my love to you
Each and every day

You know that I'm living for you

Oldies but Goodies

2009-02-23T02:14:00.000-08:00

This one from Superbowl Sunday. The Bush & Polamalu jersey.

I like to call this the "Mama Said Knock You Out" pic O:-D

Uplift me..

2009-02-23T02:12:00.000-08:00

That's what his hugs do to me.

The Beginning (of the end)

2009-02-20T20:08:00.000-08:00

I created this Blogger account for myself. To be completely fearless, honest, pure, raw & real. However sharing my feelings, pictures, stories, thoughts & words KNOWING it was visible to thee' world!! did not START here. It started with a little website known as HIPalbum.com

If you're curious about it or me, do feel free to stop by. & go through my album. In the future I will create a link on the sidelines because I can, lol. No one really knows how much of myself I put out there through my album. It was special to me because I chose to share with others MY Growth, MY Love, MY pain, MY struggle & MY Truth, without expecting anything in return. I received though, believe me. & I am one of thee' most respected women out there.

*Joe Budden voice* Check me out now..

UNUSUALXKISS

Reflections We Choose To Observe

2009-02-15T21:11:00.000-08:00

Coming home from droppin' Andrew off at his father's.. It doesn't feel like a home w/o him. Everything around me is a memory of him. I miss him terribly. I get to see him 3 nights & 4 days now, believe me, I am grateful, but it hurts. Thank God, I'm using this pain as determination to continue moving forward. But I definitely miss having him here. When he isn't here, I don't want to be here. I would rather be anywhere else but here. I can't even sleep well without him here. I would be so exhausted some nights, where my eyes burn so badly!! All I could think of is getting home & going to sleep. I arrive, close my eyes & still lie awake. When I get ready for work, he isn't near me to help me get my shoes, to tell me that he will miss me. As I clean up, he isn't there to get in my face to just smile hard. Ahh. Anyway here's what's on my side of the mirror (I share it with my brother).. I got some artwork done by Davida.. holla at her, keep her busy ArtByDavida@yahoo.com. She's the best. She just sent me another card, I love it!! Wow. Art inspires me. Ehh, soundin' cliche.

The Month of January

2009-02-07T12:21:00.000-08:00

I have a long list of Andrew's firsts.. Since he was born.. The flavors of Gerber he tried.. Swimming.. Even his first word on May 24, 2006 not even 2months & he was lookin' at the camera saying, "Hi."

In the last week of the month of January he looked up at the cloudy sky, felt a few drops on his face & said, "Mama. It's raining."

Society Has Made My Heart Black

2009-02-03T17:42:00.000-08:00

Andrew's living with his father once again & only time will tell when I will be satisfied with life once again.

the{snap}project

2009-01-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

I've seen many photographers' journeys through websites, portfolios, exhibits, or simply books but this woman right here has inspired me the most. Her name is Krista & am glad she's going to calm down on criticizing herself because that was irritating me too, lol. I peeped her blog today on a laptop & the dedication she has to get better at what she does FLOWS all throughout her blog. Her pictures, her intelligent words & most of all the wisdom that she shares are some of the reasons why she inspires me. I especially enjoy the thought put into each picture taken. The location, I should say, when it isn't a person she's capturing. Do check her out, she's worth it.

I've always been a dreamer & one of my dreams was always to become a photographer. Anyone can take a picture without knowledge of anything involving the process. I WANTED to learn it all, have the best of the best camera & know why it's the best. Like many dreams a Mother has, this particular dream was placed on the shelf & continues to collect dust. When the funds are right & the time decides to show itself I'm sure I'll have my own exhibit. While I continue working hard to see that dream make its way to reality, I'll grab onto this inspiration:

the{snap}project

Born in LA

2009-01-26T12:51:00.000-08:00

Like his mama.

just LOVEly

2009-01-20T15:15:00.000-08:00

Source.

Cheers to a New World

2009-01-20T12:16:00.000-08:00

Chicago Tribune

Mr. Potato Head

2009-01-12T19:03:00.000-08:00

Andrew is very intelligent. Now, I'm not just saying that because he's my son because I can tell you now I've met about 3 other children younger than him, that are more advanced. One of them speaks clearly. Another knows and understands what an email is. And the other one that is four months younger than him, got in her play car, "drove" some, then stopped and said, "Dang! I got a ticket!"

Anywho, Andrew has been doing something new every day for the past week. Two days ago, he showed me his (Cars) sketchpad. Almost ALL of the pages were drawn on. Some had the letter A, not an upside down V lol.. And the letter C. Also the letter I. AND!! He drew Louis from Meet The Robinsons. The glasses, hair, and everything!! Ohh..

Then yesterday, I was sleep and he woke up before me (what a surprise), slapped a Backyardigans workbook I bought him, on my head & said, "Mama. Look. Wan-Two-Twee. Wan-Two-Twee!" I got up, looked at him & he kept going. "Wan-Two-Twee," as he was pointing at the 10 palm trees next to Pablo. I mean, hey, he didn't count to 10 but he counted to three!! I can't begin to tell you how high I felt from that moment.

Then today, he was playing with his Mr. Potato Head (he LOVES that thing, I got him some more parts, I think a Dr.'s "outfit," might get him the Lakers outfit [shouts to Mr. Bru Cru] next, w/the 'fro n everything..) So he took all the parts off, called me & started naming the parts. "Eyes. Nose. Teeth. Ear. Arms. Shoes. Tongue."

Hope You're Enjoying the New Year

2009-01-04T06:36:00.000-08:00

We are!

Merry Christmas to You!

2008-12-25T12:10:00.000-08:00

Andrew is sleep by 9p every night, gets a nap in between the times of 12p & 3p. Yesterday, of course I was letting him stay up. He woke up from his nap around 4p so I knew he wouldn't be ready to lay down @ 8:30p. I was @ work @ 8p and wasn't expecting to see him until Christmas Day.

My mom & Carlos surprised me & for SOME reason COMPLETELY forgot about Andrew. That sounds wrong. I mean, since I know he is sleep around midnight I didn't expect to see him but if my mom & Carlos are both @ my job of course Andrew would have to come through! ANYWAY: FIRST! I was surprised and I remember saying, "Oh my God," while staring at the front door. They came in, my mom, gave me a big hug and said, "We came to wish you a Merry Christmas. Te traje a tu hijo...." I almost cried when Andrew ran into my arms with a huge smile on his face.

*tearing up again*

I hugged him, closed my eyes, held tightly & said, "Merry Christmas Andrew!!"

*tears running down my face now (not then)*

He kept holding onto me, tighter than I was holding him.

I enjoyed every millisecond of that hug. Hope to never forget it.

Not Quite Like This Before

2008-12-24T09:37:00.000-08:00

Ok, most of my followers (LOL) know that I took a trip to Mexico from the 14th-21st in the state of Jalisco in the town my family is from: beautiful Barra de Navidad.

I didn't miss a beat when I arrived tho. Soon as I got back, started handlin' business & got back into it (workin').

When I walked into my place tho, I was filled with happiness. Before me, were stockings hung up, Christmas decorations everywhere, pictures of my brothers, mom, son & myself in frames arranged neatly w/a slight diagonal look. And the tree.

Oh, behold. The Christmas tree.

Couldn't believe my eyes. Couldn't believe this was what was waiting for me. My spirit was out of control! I hadn't seen & felt this in years. Family sounded so great & I was incredibly grateful!

Although I will be working today and won't be getting home til about 3:10am (Christmas Day) & will be working tomorrow afternoon until the 26th I feel good. Thank God I'm working.

With that said, Merry Christmas Eve everybody!

And if you don't have the Christmas/Holiday spirit, then celebrate Festivus.. For the rest of us.

It's a win-win. Ha.

This Hit SO CLOSE to Home

2008-12-13T02:18:00.000-08:00

Mom Plays Two Roles

I feel it deep down
wished for more smiles then frowns
wanna be called pops, for that you get no props
No park, no ball, go get, go call.
Provide, that's what you re supposed to do,
anything "Dad" related was a joke to you.
Get smacked, get yelled at..that's dad
that's what he's good at.
No hard feelings, not many memories..
my future with my kids, not really worrying me.
I learned to ball, I learned to stunt,
I learned how to lay-up, I learned how to bunt.
Looking in the mirror, it's a splitting image...
Life with him, wouldnt want to re-live it.
More smiles, less tears, no pain, no blood smears.
Had to get advice elsewhere, kept feelings bottled up,
Felt like what I was doing was never good enough.
Good at striking, good at fighting...not so great with words
emotions were stifling.
Im daddy, Im brother, I provide...
No daddy, no Big Brother...Ill survive.
Get in trouble, make mistakes
Erase them mentally, raise the stakes.
Get better, move forward
Make mami proud, no harm, no foul.
I may look like you,
doing everything in my power not to be like you.
I will stay true, to that word that bothers,
unlike you, I'll become a great father.

MRBRUCRU.BLOGSPOT.COM

Can't please 'em all..

2008-12-07T20:31:00.000-08:00

I lost a follower :'(

So long Andrea.

Funky Fresh Dressed Impressed

2008-12-07T17:55:00.000-08:00

Ready to Party!

Entourage

2008-12-07T16:51:00.000-08:00

On HBO. And in my living room.

Cupcake Destruction Pt. 2

2008-12-01T06:19:00.001-08:00

Yummy. Candy.

Cupcake Destruction Pt. 1

2008-12-01T06:15:00.000-08:00

Mm. Mm.

More Joy

2008-12-01T05:56:00.000-08:00

Andrew's cousin Asia makes an appearance, Ava once more & even an orange
cupcake (sup D).

Andrew & Ava

2008-12-01T05:54:00.001-08:00

(on Thanksgiving Day, the cousins were inseparable).

Father & Son

2008-12-01T05:25:00.001-08:00

To be held, with a feeling of security. At the same time, feeling strength and empowerment from his father holding him. Letting him know that everything would be okay. That he's been waiting for him for 9 months. And that he's so happy to see him. Feeling so loved. So calm, quiet, enjoying his daddy's touch/voice.

Such a little being. Miraculous as well as unbelievable entrance to this world. Never would I have thought that I could love a human being so much the INSTANT I laid eyes on you. How soft your skin is, and your smell, so pleasant. Look at your hair, your eyes, you looking at me. Remember when I read the first book you've ever heard? Goodnight, Moon. And as soon as I finished reading those last words you let out a yawn. And closed your eyes. As if, YOU KNEW, it was the end. So intelligent, you knew, you understood. I love you. I'm so proud of you.

Look, Daddy. Look. I can play. I can jump. I can talk too. I walk, I skip, I run, I'm fast. I no longer just lay there and look at you while closing and opening my mouth without making a sound. I interact, I respond, I reply, I understand emotion a bit better. I have style, I recognize fashion, I show off when my mommy buys me new forces. :-) Shoes, shoes! Look, shoes!! See my hat Daddy? Mommy says I'm handsome. She says, she's proud of me too. But I get angry sometimes. She doesn't like when I don't listen to her. She doesn't like when I scatter my toys around the living room. She REALLY doesn't like coming home from work and seeing that she can't see the floor anymore. Sometimes I don't want to pick up my toys (I don't like clean-up time). But when I see my mom start picking them up, I help her. But not always. I like to wrestle. I like to cuddle, but not always. It's up to me when. It's up to me when you get a kiss from me too. I don't know. Just how I go about things, that's all. I miss you Daddy. Kiss. Daddy. Kiss.

Thanksgiving Day

2008-12-01T02:29:00.000-08:00

I'm purposely late in posting anything regarding Thanksgiving because I believe that one should be thankful every single day. Not just the 4th Thursday of November. My family never had Thanksgiving 'Day' as part of our traditions so it doesn't mean anything to me. However Andrew's dad's side of the family celebrates it and each relative makes a dish and shares with the rest. It eventually becomes this monstrosity of good food. Stuff that is especially good for your soul. Andrew was definitely a part of that this year. And I heard he had a great time.

These are pictures of his way to Temecula. I know there was A LOT of traffic.

I love traffic. It's fun to make eye contact with strangers after you danced and sang a song like no one was listening/watching. I feel I make their day.

Disney Pixar's

2008-11-25T21:04:00.000-08:00

Cars!!

I went to WalMart not too long ago, and came across two different comforters worth buying. The Cars theme or the Wall·E theme. So I asked Andrew which one did he like best. After gasping once and holding his shocked look for about 3 minutes, he decided he wanted the Cars theme to sleep on. Then I came across the hamper he likes to use as a "hiding" spot. Then I came across the towel. He didn't have a say in those, I just bought them lol. Add two more gasps when I showed him these things.

After all the hoopla, he was out for his daily afternoon nap.

Ima cop the Wall·E theme too.

For myself.

Wall·E Pt. 2

2008-11-21T06:38:00.000-08:00

Look at how cool this is!! Oh mannn can't wait til Andrew wakes up to this!!! He's gonna gasp and somehow when he gasps his dimples show.. Wooooooo!!

Wall·E

2008-11-21T06:33:00.001-08:00

$37.67.. Pixar, will u give me my mind back? I done lost it over there O:-)

A Change Is Gonna Come

2008-11-13T10:10:00.000-08:00

I was born by the river in a little tent
Oh and just like the river
I've been running ever since

It's been too hard living but I'm afraid to die
Cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky

I go to the movie and I go downtown
Somebody keep telling me don't hang around

Then I go to my brother
And I say brother help me please
But he winds up knockin' me
Back down on my knees
There been times that I thought
I couldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come,
Oh yes it will

-Seal-

Baby Barack

2008-11-07T06:15:00.000-08:00

PEOPLE NAMING THEIR CHILDREN BARACK ALREADY?!

Source: My dude, Brooklyn.

Why not a strong name...?? Like.

Andrew.

;-D

Heaven's Grocery Store

2008-11-03T05:25:00.000-08:00

I was walking down life's highway a long time ago.
One day I saw a sign that read, "Heaven's Grocery Store."
As I got a little closer, I was standing inside
I saw a host of angels.....They were standing everywhere.
One handed me a basket and said, "My child shop with care."
Everything a Christian needed was in that grocery store.
And all you couldn't carry, you could come back, the next day for more.
First I got some patience, Love was in the same row.
Further down was understanding. You need that everywhere you go.
I got a box or two of wisdom, a bag or two of faith.
I just couldn't miss the Holy Ghost for it was all over the place.
I stopped to get some strength and courage to help me run this race.
By then my basket was getting full, but I remembered I needed some grace.
I didn't forget salvation-that was free.
So I tried to get enough of that to save both you and me.
Then I started up the counter to pay my grocery bill,
For I thought I had everything to do my master's will.
As I went up the aisle I saw prayer and I just had to put that in.
For I knew when I stepped outside, I would run right into sin.
Peace and joy were plentiful; they were on the last shelf.
Song and praises were hanging near so I just helped myself.
Then I said to the Angel, "How much do I owe?"
He just smiled and said, "Just take them everywhere you go."
He smiled again and said,
"My child, Jesus paid your bill a long time ago."

Se7en

2008-10-29T10:37:00.000-07:00

*speechless*

Childhood Toys

2008-10-23T17:41:00.001-07:00

I was watching cartoons this morning with my young one while we were having Cheerios and we're watching these commercials intended for the younger audience, you know. I see they still have the girls with their babies that pee and you got these 5yr old girls training to be mothers LOL. I also saw that for the boys it's just full out action and helicopters with bazookas attached to 'em. Or they have the super cool lookin' designs on the vehicles and u see 'em goin' over mountains and hills. Whereas there's these ugly dolls that are surrounded by 3yr old girls dying their hair a diff color one strand at a time.

Being a boy is much cooler lol.

My mom told me the other day that I used to play with dolls and I was in shock! I remember playing with the Hot Wheels toys from McDonald's AND I SPECIFICALLY remember this ass whoopin' my mother gave me when I was 8 and she caught me cutting one of my dolls' hair n flushing it down the toilet. I don't remember actually enjoying and playing with them!! I remember coloring their faces with marker and with the dolls that had moving eyes [you'd lay them down, eyes would close, sit 'em up and their eyes would open] I would poke their eye until it would break or pop through.

HOWEVER. I do remember appreciating and loving this Polly Pocket heart shaped pink box that opened down the middle and it had little people and inside was their home. And omg. I need to look for it online. I want to get myself this for Christmas.

Do u remember a very special toy you used to play with?? Tell me about it.

Twilight

2008-10-18T17:17:00.001-07:00

So. Now I want to see it. Not cuz of Mr. Bru Cru or Mirenda though they may or may not have, lol, played a part in my decision.

This little girl today, at Legoland, had a Twilight t-shirt on. She looked about 10. The back said, "If you could live forever, what would you live for?" and I was like ooh. Then when she faced me it was that familiar picture I saw on Mr Bru Cru's post [MrBruCru.blogspot.com]. And I exclaimed, "IS THAT TWILIGHT?!" She smiled and said, "Yeah." Then she told me about it and when the movie would come out which of course I forgot now but good ol' google will help me out with that one.

But. That's a good question. That I didn't even address when I wrote about Twilight on my other blog.

I'm not sure if I can come up with an excellent answer to that. But. I'm thinking...

If YOU could live forever, what would you live FOR?

I would explore and travel as much as possible. I would never work because I would already be making lots of money, somehow. Lol.

Because I don't know if anyone important such as Andrew will be living forever like me, I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that I will have those close to me pass on. And then I will no doubt get lonely so do I start a family again knowing I will outgrow them? I mean there's only so much pain one can take. And if I'm unable to die it's just INSANE to be thinking about this.

Fantastic!

2008-10-13T08:34:00.001-07:00

Haircut @ Fantastic Sam's :-D

Footprints On My Soul

2008-10-08T19:34:00.000-07:00

I see what they mean now when they say, "They grow up so fast, don't they?" It's almost just a blur when I held you for the first time as I had tears of joy coming out of my eyes and I was letting you know everything would be all right and that you were with me and you were well and I love you so much. I'm your mama, I'm here, it's okay. I love you baby.

Now you reach out for me. You hold my hand. You ask me where and when you want me to kiss you. You brush your teeth and tell me you're ready for me to accept a kiss from me. You hurt yourself and before I can even ask if you're all right, you run up and look up at me to say, "Mama. I'm Ok." How adorable are you?

You and I have grown so much since I discovered you'd be a part of my life. An amazing journey I'd say including the stories I don't know about during those 7 lonely but most productive (of my life) months you were away from me. You're growing baby boy and I feel like now I need to hear you to tell me that everything would be all right. That you are going to bewith me and I am well and you love me so. You're my son. You will be there, it's okay. You love your mama.

I'm afraid Son. Afraid of working too much and not spending enough time with you. I'm afraid that once again I will miss out on ONE day without knowing what it is you did, ate, felt, experienced.. something you did for the first time in your life-without me. I don't want to lose you again. I want to hear that that won't happen. I want to be reassured. But most importantly I want to believe it. I want to wake up every morning and know you are still with me. I want to be able to experience things you do that let me know you are happy. I want to show you things you have never dreamed of. I want to constantly see that beautiful smile of yours while you're staring into my eyes. Those big, brown eyes.

When you start growing day by day without me I want you to think of me. I want you to invite me on your journey. I want to be beside you when you are happy, sad, lonely, in need of comfort, when you just want to squeeze the hell out of my arm like you love to do so often, I want to be there. When you are angry with me because I won't give you three Skittles, only two. When you look at me and tell me, "Scared. Mama. Scared." I want to be there to let you know that there is nothing you need to be afraid of. Nothing at all.

I think what you are trying to tell me now is that I don't have to be afraid. I don't and should not have any fear in my heart. I should maintain faith and try hard to never let go of it and feed it well in order for it to blossom. There is nothing I need to be afraid of. Nothing at all.

The Royal Joust

2008-10-06T18:25:00.000-07:00

2008-10-04T02:30:00.000-07:00

Tragedy in So Many Forms

2008-10-01T16:20:00.000-07:00

REALITY

I love Expressive Frontier. You should, too.

EF LIFESTYLE

Prototype

2008-09-30T21:14:00.000-07:00

I hope that you're the one
If not, you are the prototype
We'll tiptoe to the sun
And do thangs I know you like

I think I'm in love again

Today must be my lucky day
Baby, you are the prototype
Do sumn' outta the ordinary
Like catch a matinee
Baby you are the prototype
I think I'm..

If we happen to part
Lord knows I don't want that
But hey, we can't be mad at God
We met today for a reason
I think I'm on the right track now

The Scene
Come here

Girl, right now I wanna say, I wanna say
I wanna say stank you very much
For picking me up
And bringing me back to this world
I can't, I'm not
I can't afford to not record
I thank I wanna say
I thank I wanna say stank you, stank you
Smelly much!
For picking me up and bringing me back to this world
Hey, hey John! Are we recording our ad libs?
Really?? Were we recording just then?
Let me hear that, that first one
When I first started

-Andre Benjamin-

Rain-Bow.

2008-09-29T07:51:00.000-07:00

My alarm woke me at 7AM this morning. Minutes later, this loud forceful sound came through. Lightning McQue- haha no um, just thunder. It was sooo loud. A car alarm went off and when I looked next to me I saw a young pair of eyes. Andrew was ready for the day. I was going to take my brother to school but now that Andrew was awake he was coming along as well.

Few minutes later, Andrew and I opened the door and we heard thunder AND saw lightning this time. As we were looking outside, at the bright day, we heard what sounded like rushing waves crashing down ashore. It was hard rain coming down. And lots of it. I couldn't believe it. First time I ever see that happen. Where it looks like a nice dry day [w/o the lightning/thunder] and then as I'm staring out rain comes along. It was absolutely amazing.

So we ran to the car and after we dropped my brother off and came back two rainbows were out. I told Andrew what they were and he started saying, "Rayyn-Bo!"

The End.

I wonder..

2008-09-28T15:48:00.000-07:00

I just found out Paul Newman died [two days ago] cuz someone dope, M*, blogged about it on her blog, SunriseSundown.blogspot.com. As fine as he was when he was younger, I know him most recently for his role in Cars as Doc Hudson so I just wonder what's gonna happen for Cars 2?

Calling All Good Mothers..

2008-09-25T22:48:00.000-07:00

While I'm at work, my mom takes care of Andrew and for about a month now when I get home, he eventually gets very whiny and cries a lot and is 734829120x's sensitive. It's ridiculous because I'm so happy when I see him and he is too! When I arrive, he greets me with a huge Kool-Aid smile and raises his arms up high and I pick him up and it's just amazing. I mean, it feels amazing. My favorite part of a working day. But dang he's so whiny about highly unimportant things on a good day u know what I mean? And my mom says that he's very well-behaved and he only acts like that when I'm home. Do you know why? I have a few ideas but *shrugs*

My cosi.cosi :-)

He just lubs his mama <3

Let Me Take A Moment-

2008-09-21T22:35:00.000-07:00

As I'm laying here, getting ready to rest my eyes for at least 8 hrs, God willing, I chose to look back on the last few weeks and what I thought were money issues of mine. One sentence comes to mind.

"God works in mysterious ways."

That couldn't be more true if you had a front seat to my documentary which doesn't exist. I had to take a moment tonight to ask for forgiveness. How truly ungrateful I was. I'm just smh at myself. I'm glad, at least, I am aware of it and know to really work hard at seeing what's around me. What I'm able to provide. No wonder they look at me as if I'm HOPE. They're not taking advantage of me. They love me. They DO appreciate me. They're just doing what I am incapable of doing. Asking for help. And willingly, got to the point of them not having to ask, I just do. I'm genuinely happy. I have nothing to complain about. My son has his own bed he sleeps in, really his own room [I just sleep in it], no tv but I got my music. And that, ladies and gentlemen is truly wonderful. Thee gift, here, is being able to listen to this music. God, thank You for my life, and for those lives around me. Life could never be perfect, but it really is great, and I thank You for waking my senses.

Let me just take a moment-please.

Activity Book!

2008-09-20T12:29:00.001-07:00

I Spy...

2008-09-19T22:42:00.001-07:00

Lightning McQueen!

Duplo Playground!

2008-09-19T22:39:00.000-07:00

Embrace Your Culture.

2008-09-19T21:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight, my brother invited his gf to visit and our fam is unusual in a fun-loving way. So we're being us and goofin' off, throw in spanish inappropriateness, and a comment about gas and u have a few minutes with us. I hear my mom APOLOGIZE to his gf and adds that, "that's how we are."

I didn't think it affected me until I laid down and said, damn am I bout to write about this tonight? I think this is my 7th post today or somethin'. Anywho.

She shouldn't have apologized [insert "yelling" AOL smiley here]!

If you're a certain way, and always been that way, you're not willing to change because you're happy with yourself, why apologize? It's not like you mean it, cuz the second after ur still you. I could understand if she apologized for a certain remark she said but she included "us." And I don't apologize for me. Or how I am. I think before I speak. There are times I evaluate myself from time to time and dedicate to change spiritually. It's all about growth. But there's a certain way one is. That u can't escape. No matter what job you have, what class you're a part of, how much money you make. It's your culture. It's your lifestyle. The way you speak. The things you choose to speak about. How you live your life by the interactions made with others. I understand someone that curses and wants to avoid that. But a sense of humor that is practiced daily, then an "outsider" comes, and all of a sudden we should be proper. Get out of here. Be real. Be you. Embrace. No shame.

I will teach Andrew about his cultures. He will be educated and with all the options available he will decide how to be. It will be the right choice and I hope he doesn't ever feel the need to apologize for how he is. He will also learn that everyone won't be pleased and his duty isn't to please everyone. People will either accept him or keep it movin'.

Next Major Trip!

2008-09-17T15:46:00.000-07:00

Disneyland Resort Paris!

I don't know how I'm going to do it before next April or next January but this is something I really want Andrew and I to experience.

For those more fortunate than I:

http://offers.disneylandparis.co.uk/special-offers/index.xhtml

I LOVE ANDREW!

2008-09-14T15:21:00.000-07:00

Davida, you're an amazing photographer!

Hakuna Matata

2008-09-14T12:41:00.000-07:00

Priceless smiles and games for days..

Timeless..

2008-09-14T12:39:00.000-07:00

Dimples!

2008-09-14T12:36:00.000-07:00

She sure did pass them on :-)

Win

2008-09-13T14:30:00.000-07:00

Dark is the night
I can weather the storm
Never say die
I've been down this road before
I'll never quit
I'll never lay down, mm
See I promised myself that I'd never let me down

I'll never give up
Never give in
Never let a ray of doubt slip in
And if I fall
I'll never fail
I'll just get up and try again

Never lose hope
Never lose faith
There's much too much at stake
Upon myself I must depend
I'm not looking for place or show
I'm gonna win
No stopping now

There's still a ways to go, oh
Someway, somehow
Whatever it takes, I know
I'll never quit, no no
I'll never go down, mm, mm
I'll make sure they remember my name

A hundred years from now
When it's all said and done
My once in a lifetime will be back again
Now is the time
To take a stand
Here is my chance
That's why I...

Mmm, I'm gonna win

-Brian McKnight-

Delicious ceviche!

2008-09-11T16:48:00.000-07:00

So today my mom fixed up some more food for all us here to eat, only she knows how to prepare the ceviche. Ceviche that my grandma in Mexico always sends me FRESHHHHH from that there them parts, lol.

Anywho today we had a few visitors, incl another baby [Josue; my mom calls him Joshua] that is used to being alone and everything is his. So yeah, took awhile for all of them to get along. Eventually Carlos started teaching 'em some football lingo and it was three chirrens against one. Pretty funny to watch since two of the three kids were under 35lbs and Carlos, with ease, would twist 'em around and drop 'em. Then it was the 54lber's turn. U know he didn't get twisted. Just pushed back, LOL.

I also saw Andrew and Josue playing together by holding onto this bar on our front yard and swinging from it. They each took one swing then took turns. It was so sweet. Ahem, err, um, I mean it was a man's game.

O:-)

Wild Rivers

2008-09-10T14:02:00.000-07:00

I've never been there but I might take Andrew this weekend sometime.

First waterpark he would go to.

:-D

Yay I won!

2008-09-06T17:57:00.000-07:00

So every time I cashed my check in July and August I was entered into a gas card drawing. And I won a $25 one! They came out of their booths and asked me if they could take my picture. I was surprised. I asked, "Why?" She said, "To post it on the wall in order to show others you won." I said, "Umm. Okay. Can I take it with my son?" She said, "Sure!" So there we are. LOL!!

Fun, fun.

2008-08-28T13:16:00.000-07:00

Jose and my mama..

And a chess set I'd like to purchase one day.

Just A Few..

2008-08-28T13:14:00.000-07:00

At Pirate Shores and Funtown in Legoland.

More To Come.

2008-08-27T23:34:00.000-07:00

These were taken before our LCR visit. This morning.

Ahhhhh!

2008-08-26T21:35:00.000-07:00

I've been so busy lately that I haven't been blogging as much but a quick update. Last week I went to Disneyland and California Adventure with my family and tomorrow we're taking on Legoland.

Whoooaaa whooaaa

2008-08-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

At the car wash, yeah!

Happy Birthday!

2008-08-05T07:54:00.001-07:00

On Tue, 5 Aug 2008 7:07 am, M S wrote:

Hello hello hello beautiful!! Hope you wake up to an incredible day and many blessings in all shapes and forms! You're such a wonderful person and I'm sure you will receive all your heart desires! Happy birthday and wishes for many more! Give Drew a hug and kiss for me!

**********************

Thank you Michelle. Your words mean the world to me. Your beautiful everlasting soul overflows with hope constantly and I FEEL YOU everytime you grace me with a part of you.

God bless you and yours.

Warm August

2008-08-03T12:20:00.000-07:00

Birth Flowers

2008-07-31T17:09:00.000-07:00

For April, the birth flower is the DAISY. There are several different varieties of flowers which bear similar characteristics of the daisy.

The True daisy is BELLIS PERENNIS.

Daisies are associated with innocence.

Daisies have been the subject of many verses. One favorite that everyone learns as a child is "s/he loves me, s/he loves me not." The popularity of this verse has resulted in the daisy being called Love's Oracle.

The Catholic Church adopted it as a symbol of the Virgin Mary because "Love Conquers All Things."

My thoughts: humble, pleasant, powerful people.
····
The GLADIOLUS Flower is the birth flower for August. It also represented the Roman Gladiators.

The gladiolus flower signifies Remembrance.

It also expreses infatuation, telling the receiver that he or she "pierces the heart."

Meaning: splendid beauty

My thoughts: beautiful & strong, yet able to LOVE.. Yep, sounds just like me.

*Information about the flowers courtesy of heARTacheMIXTAPE's research. Thank you.

Ignorance is Bliss [?]

2008-07-20T15:30:00.000-07:00

Something heavenly led me to you
Look at the sky
It's the colour of love

There must have been an angel by my side
Something heavenly came down from above
He led me to you

He built a bridge to your heart
All the way
How many tons of love inside
I can't say

When I was led to you
I knew you were the one for me
I swear the whole world could feel my heartbeat
When I lay eyes on you

Wasn't it clear from the start
Look the sky is full of love
Yeah the sky is full of love

You gave me the kiss of life
Kiss of life
You gave me the kiss that's like
The kiss of life

You wrapped me up in the colour of love
Must have been an angel came down from above
Giving me love yeah

You gave me the kiss of life

-Sade-

I am incredibly proud..

2008-07-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

of both Andrew and my youngest brother, Jose. They were FEARLESS in that water. It was AMAZING.Thank You God.

Make sure to cherish your days, ok?

2008-07-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

If you were mine
I wouldn't want to go to heaven

You're ruling the way that I move
You take my air

And I breathe your air

You only can rescue me

You won't catch me running

You show me how deep love can be

This is my prayer

I won't be afraid
Won't run away
Won't shy
I won't go astray
I Cherish the Day

-Sade-

BURN·E

2008-06-30T11:23:00.001-07:00

I'm anticipating this new short, BURN·E, that will be attached to WALL·E's DVD & BLU-RAY release on November 4, 2008.