Se7en

*speechless*

Childhood Toys

I was watching cartoons this morning with my young one while we were having Cheerios and we're watching these commercials intended for the younger audience, you know. I see they still have the girls with their babies that pee and you got these 5yr old girls training to be mothers LOL. I also saw that for the boys it's just full out action and helicopters with bazookas attached to 'em. Or they have the super cool lookin' designs on the vehicles and u see 'em goin' over mountains and hills. Whereas there's these ugly dolls that are surrounded by 3yr old girls dying their hair a diff color one strand at a time.

Being a boy is much cooler lol.

My mom told me the other day that I used to play with dolls and I was in shock! I remember playing with the Hot Wheels toys from McDonald's AND I SPECIFICALLY remember this ass whoopin' my mother gave me when I was 8 and she caught me cutting one of my dolls' hair n flushing it down the toilet. I don't remember actually enjoying and playing with them!! I remember coloring their faces with marker and with the dolls that had moving eyes [you'd lay them down, eyes would close, sit 'em up and their eyes would open] I would poke their eye until it would break or pop through.

HOWEVER. I do remember appreciating and loving this Polly Pocket heart shaped pink box that opened down the middle and it had little people and inside was their home. And omg. I need to look for it online. I want to get myself this for Christmas.

Do u remember a very special toy you used to play with?? Tell me about it.

Twilight

So. Now I want to see it. Not cuz of Mr. Bru Cru or Mirenda though they may or may not have, lol, played a part in my decision.

This little girl today, at Legoland, had a Twilight t-shirt on. She looked about 10. The back said, "If you could live forever, what would you live for?" and I was like ooh. Then when she faced me it was that familiar picture I saw on Mr Bru Cru's post [MrBruCru.blogspot.com]. And I exclaimed, "IS THAT TWILIGHT?!" She smiled and said, "Yeah." Then she told me about it and when the movie would come out which of course I forgot now but good ol' google will help me out with that one.

But. That's a good question. That I didn't even address when I wrote about Twilight on my other blog.

I'm not sure if I can come up with an excellent answer to that. But. I'm thinking...

If YOU could live forever, what would you live FOR?

I would explore and travel as much as possible. I would never work because I would already be making lots of money, somehow. Lol.

Because I don't know if anyone important such as Andrew will be living forever like me, I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that I will have those close to me pass on. And then I will no doubt get lonely so do I start a family again knowing I will outgrow them? I mean there's only so much pain one can take. And if I'm unable to die it's just INSANE to be thinking about this.

Fantastic!

Haircut @ Fantastic Sam's :-D

Footprints On My Soul

I see what they mean now when they say, "They grow up so fast, don't they?" It's almost just a blur when I held you for the first time as I had tears of joy coming out of my eyes and I was letting you know everything would be all right and that you were with me and you were well and I love you so much. I'm your mama, I'm here, it's okay. I love you baby.

Now you reach out for me. You hold my hand. You ask me where and when you want me to kiss you. You brush your teeth and tell me you're ready for me to accept a kiss from me. You hurt yourself and before I can even ask if you're all right, you run up and look up at me to say, "Mama. I'm Ok." How adorable are you?

You and I have grown so much since I discovered you'd be a part of my life. An amazing journey I'd say including the stories I don't know about during those 7 lonely but most productive (of my life) months you were away from me. You're growing baby boy and I feel like now I need to hear you to tell me that everything would be all right. That you are going to bewith me and I am well and you love me so. You're my son. You will be there, it's okay. You love your mama.

I'm afraid Son. Afraid of working too much and not spending enough time with you. I'm afraid that once again I will miss out on ONE day without knowing what it is you did, ate, felt, experienced.. something you did for the first time in your life-without me. I don't want to lose you again. I want to hear that that won't happen. I want to be reassured. But most importantly I want to believe it. I want to wake up every morning and know you are still with me. I want to be able to experience things you do that let me know you are happy. I want to show you things you have never dreamed of. I want to constantly see that beautiful smile of yours while you're staring into my eyes. Those big, brown eyes.

When you start growing day by day without me I want you to think of me. I want you to invite me on your journey. I want to be beside you when you are happy, sad, lonely, in need of comfort, when you just want to squeeze the hell out of my arm like you love to do so often, I want to be there. When you are angry with me because I won't give you three Skittles, only two. When you look at me and tell me, "Scared. Mama. Scared." I want to be there to let you know that there is nothing you need to be afraid of. Nothing at all.

I think what you are trying to tell me now is that I don't have to be afraid. I don't and should not have any fear in my heart. I should maintain faith and try hard to never let go of it and feed it well in order for it to blossom. There is nothing I need to be afraid of. Nothing at all.

The Royal Joust

Tragedy in So Many Forms

REALITY

I love Expressive Frontier. You should, too.

EF LIFESTYLE